


It's Just Us Now

by hernamewasalice



Series: Fluff + Angst [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Apocalypse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Older Man/Younger Woman, Underage Kissing, Underage Relationship(s), accidental grooming, currently rey is 16 and ben is 26, there is a time gap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:22:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21690889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernamewasalice/pseuds/hernamewasalice
Summary: Ben was nineteen years old when the virus broke out and wiped off the majority of the population. Rey was only nine years old.  She survived and so did he. There were other survivors out there in the world, Ben knew. She was only a little girl, all alone and so he took her with him. After years of being alone together, something develops. He knows it's wrong but it doesn't matter anymore. It was just them now.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Fluff + Angst [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622881
Comments: 89
Kudos: 506





	1. Chapter 1

She was his next door neighbor before any of this.

Ben had no real connection to her prior hand. Her family and her moved into the neighborhood when he was fifteen. She was five then. She was a little girl and he only said hello to her in passing before going inside his own home.

Ben was nineteen years old when the virus broke out and wiped off the majority of the population. Rey was only nine years old. The only people that were unaffected were the ones that were AB negative. She survived and so did he. There were other survivors out there in the world, Ben knew. She was only a little girl, all alone and so he took her with him.

It's been four years since the outbreak. They've been traveling city to city, state to state - looking for other survivors and so far they found no one else. The world was big, Ben reminded himself but the world was also a dangerous place now. There were so many times that they almost died but became stronger from it. Rey was once a little girl who carried stuffed animals and dolls with her everywhere she went but after the outbreak she abandoned them. It saddens him every time to remember that she had another year or two before becoming too old for dolls before this. But she had to grow up fast she knew. And she did.

She was younger than him but she was able to hold her own ground. There were so many times she saved his life.

He still tries to get her to enjoy her childhood from time to time. Once in a while he'll scavenge for little toys or trinkets for her. She would thank him for the gesture but she would never play with them. Ben wasn't hurt though. He understood that losing her parents did a number on her.

 _She's only thirteen_ , he reminded himself, trying desperately to stop himself from kissing her. She used to be a little girl who dressed up in princess dresses and had tea parties with her dolls. He kisses her still, holding her tight not for her to stay in place but to hold on to her. _It's just us now_ , his thoughts loom over him as he presses his lips against hers, desperately trying to be gentle with her. Ben's not at all gentle with her.

It's been _four_ years since he had any physical contact with another human.

Rey pushes him away from her in shock. This was the boy she knew almost her whole life - - the boy that saved her from the streets - the only person she had left. He doesn't seem to notice. He was a large man while she was small and petite. She pushes him again, fighting him off of her.

He lets go then and looks at her, searching for her response. He blinked slowly, trying to register what he had just done.

"You k-kissed me," she whispered out of breath. Her cheeks were flushed while every other inch of her body was stiff. She was disorientated.

"It's just us now," he whispered to her.

Rey blinked several times as her mouth was left opened. She expected an apology or an explanation for his irrational behavior. She didn't know how to respond.

Ben pressed his face against the nape of her neck. "It's been that way for four years," he reminded her, exhaling into her skin.

"That was my first kiss," she said quietly.

Ben chuckled softly. He couldn't help but to find her comment endearing and yet heartbreaking. "Of course I know that," he said, pulling away to look at her in her eyes. He frowned as his eyes flickered to lock on to the warmth of her gaze. "Of course I know that."

* * *

He's kissing her again in the middle of the night.

Rey lets him. She cares for him and he's always doing the right thing for her. It felt weird at first - a giant man hovering over her, crushing his lips against hers - but she's growing accustomed to it with every little peck. He's so big. He's always been bigger than her and it was evident with him kissing her. He's kissing her mouth but his lips also kissed her chin. She kisses back timidly with shy pecks. She's not sure if she was kissing correctly but the sounds he was making gave her the confirmation.

They're in bed and he's suffocating her with the weight of his body on her. Their hands are laced together and she was squeezing tightly as he began to get rough with her. His teeth are involved now and they're tugging at her bottom lip - and he's licking her mouth and trying to press his tongue in - she squeezes his fingers for dear life. She always held his hand to ease the pain when he tended to her wounds. She feels so dazed with everything he's doing right now. How is he able to do so many things at once? She can barely breathe.

He's kissing her in such a frenzy as if he's never going to see her again - as if he was going to die.

She was trembling so much. Everything was happening so fast. She closed her eyes but she can hear him leaving loud smacking wet sounds on neck.

"It's okay," he assured her, puckering tiny kisses against her jaw and cheeks. "We're only going to kiss tonight - and for a while." He drags his lips to her ear and latches on to nibble little bites. They had spent years sharing a bed and/or sleeping space for survival and warmth, how naïve of him not to think anything would come from it.

"Have you wanted to kiss me for a long time?" she asked. She shivered as he licked her ear. She squeezes his hands again to relieve the pain she was feeling. She doesn't know why she was feeling pain but she was.

"No - I don't know it just - it just happened tonight," Ben moved back to kiss her mouth. He kisses her gently this time to remind her that he does care for her. His answer was almost the full truth. He wanted to kiss her for the last few months. "Do you like me kissing you?" he breaks from her then. He touches her cheek and stroked the tiny crescent scar on her right temple. He cares for her, he really does.

Rey blushed then. "I don't know," she admitted, laughing. "This is all so new to me. I never kissed before."

His thumb circled her scar again and then his fingers slipped into her hair to set aside so he could press a kiss on her neck. "Do you like when I do this?" he chuckled, nuzzling her. It was supposed to be a serious matter - him, an older man kissing an underage girl and yet it was so light with them.

Rey nodded, giggling from his beard against her bare skin. "It's ticklish and warm but I like it." She liked his beard. He started having it after a year in together. It was much easier for him opposed to constantly maintaining a clean shaven face.

He moved to her lips again and pecks her the way he wanted to for the first time, delicate and not in delirious starving haste. "Do you like when I kiss you like that?" he asked.

"I like it when it's a bunch of little kisses opposed to one."

He kisses her again. "Like this?" he peppers lazy kisses along her jawline and temples. He feels her nodding in confirmation. "How about when I put my tongue here?" he demonstrated then, putting his tongue in her mouth.

"It's a little weird. I don't like it."

"Okay well what if I try it again but differently?" he asked.

"How so?"

He laughed. "Try copying what I'm doing." He flickered his tongue again and parted his mouth open for her to try. He ran his tongue on hers for a taste and she followed him as well.

She pulled away.

Ben couldn't help but to groan.

"This is a little better," she said.

He sighed in awe at the sight of her relaxing. All he wanted was to make sure she was okay and that was all that mattered. "I wonder if you like it if I kiss you in this certain way."

Rey raised her eyebrow in curiosity. "In what way?"

He laughed. "Let me show you."

* * *

Rey had always been a pretty girl.

Ben remembers the day he saw her moved in. He was walking home from school like he always did. From the distance he could see the moving trucks and piles of boxes and wrapped furniture. She was clutching on to her doll while she was holding on to the hem of her mother's skirt. Her parents were moving things with the movers and she wanted to help.

"You're too tiny to help sweetheart," her mother chuckled.

"But I want to help," the girl insisted.

Ben slowed his pace. They were British and he found their voices soothing. He was more surprised to see such a well behaved child.

"I set up your table and tea set over here. Why don't you play until we are done?" her mother pointed out. Her mother had laid out some of the girl's toys in the front yard. There were three stuffed animals, all sitting in the small chairs.

He waved at the family to be polite before going inside his home. His mother taught him hospitality. "Hello, welcome to the neighborhood," he said, trying to smile organically. He couldn't help but to look around. There were three people in this family.

"Hello," her mother said.

"My mother will stop by tomorrow with a fruit basket once you're settled in," Ben said then. He couldn't help but to look at the girl. She was a cute girl, with flowing chestnut hair and large hazel eyes. She looked so much of a doll to him. Her parents were plain and he couldn't help but to wonder how they made such a pretty girl.

She sensed his gaze and hid behind her mother's skirt.

Ben chuckled and waved goodbye before heading inside his home.

* * *

The memory lingered with him. He never wanted to do anything to this girl. But after all these years with her day after day - it did something.

Rey was still asleep, curled up beside him. He remained quiet, not wanting to wake her. He stroked her cheek, marveling how much she's been growing. Even though she would never acknowledge it, he's been taking care of her. It was strange to experience her constantly changing. She was blossoming before him. Her face was shedding off her baby fat and she's been slowly developing curves. Her freckles were slowly fading and her cheekbones were becoming more prominent. Her lashes had gotten longer if you could believe it and it sets her eyes in such a way that mesmerizes you. Her hair was long, at her waist and framed her face in such a delicate manner. She was still young, only thirteen and it was torture for him to watch her develop.

She gets prettier with each passing day.

Never did he imagine would he find her attractive.

He knows that this was circumstantial. It had been just them for all these years and they became attached to one another in ways that they shouldn't. 

Her lips are a bright pink today, slightly bruised from last night. Her lips were soft and full, he couldn't help but to kiss her last night. He traced her lips and then rested his head against her chest. She was starting to develop breasts. They were barely noticeable but they were there. This was not the first time he's done this - resting his head on her chest. He's been doing this for a few months now. He liked hearing her heart beat. It was soothing. And he liked hearing her breathing too. And he liked feeling her warmth.

His hair tickles her awake.

He senses this even though she remained silent. "Rey," he calls out her name.

"Yes?"

"Do you know that things won't be the same with us?" he asked.

"I do," she said quietly.

"Do you want things to go back to the way things were?" he holds his breath.

She moved slightly in the bed. "No."


	2. Chapter 2

A lot has happened in the last four years.

Wolves and coyotes now inhabit the empty cities. The population of animals has more than tripled its population and are now thriving since the elimination of humans. The animals now run wild. The only animals that didn't survive were the zoo animals that unfortunately starved and died in their cages. Some places however did free the zoo animals and those animals inhabit the cities now.

The list was endless of all the threats that Ben and Rey had to face. He has so many scars from being attacked by predators. And so did she. It was a shock for the both of them years back when they came across a city and was attacked by a lion. Besides the animals, the vegetation also thrived without the interference from humans. So many plants wrap themselves around empty cars and buildings and once corpses.

They have found living humans in the last four years. In total they met six humans. Two of them was an elderly couple that died of natural causes within a few months. Rey and Ben met them the first year and lived with them until their passing. The elderly couple were kind souls and took them in when they needed guidance the most. Mrs. Stevenson died first and then Mr. Stevenson died a few days after from heartbreak. Ben buried them when they died and made markers to distinguish their graves.

The second year, Rey and Ben came across a man named Adam. They only knew him for one day. When they met him, he was being attacked by a tiger. Ben and Rey managed to stray the tiger away but it was too late. The tiger had punctured a major artery. They tried to save Adam. Rey desperately flipped through all the books she scavenged about natural remedies and medicine but there was nothing they could do. They stayed with Adam until he eventually bled to death and passed away. And just like the elderly couple, Ben buried Adam and marked his grave.

The third year, they met a couple. Her name was Leslie and his name was John. Leslie was thirty and John was fifty. Leslie was a teacher before this and John was a pastor. They found each other two years ago and became attached to one another.

Rey and Ben only knew them for about a month before their ultimate passing. Leslie was pregnant. Ben did his best to help deliver the baby with the knowledge he acquired from medical books but just like the others, this had the same tragic fate.

John committed suicide unable to live with the grief of losing his family.

It was sad, the baby girl didn't live long enough to be given a name.

The image still haunts Ben of seeing John hanging in the air. Ben had wanted to check up on John after everything that had happened. John did leave a suicide note and expressed his gratefulness for their kindness.

Ben thinks about John and Leslie more and more lately.

Things with him and Rey are different now. It was inevitable that they will start a family but not right now. It was too early and he wanted to take things slow with her. They were in an abandoned store getting more supplies. He couldn't help but to linger in the health aisles. Rey was getting herself new bras since she was growing out of current ones. Ben grabbed a box of condoms and read the packaging.

He knows that the condoms are expired but he wonders if they were any good still.

He puts them back immediately. He doesn't plan on having sex with her until a few years from now and that will be risky using expired condoms. He doesn't want to risk hurting Rey with using items way past their expiration date. Birth control was out of their option as well for that same reason. When they did have sex, he just have to pull out and rely on the health books they scavenged over the years. Those books come in handy especially with tending to wounds.

Ben moved away from the aisle and proceeded to get actual essentials. Clothes. Toothbrushes. Soap.

"Should I be using these?" Rey asked then the moment she found him. She was holding a few boxes of pads. "I'm not sure with the whole expiration date."

"I'm having the same problem with that too," he couldn't help but to blush. If only she knew where he was earlier. But it was becoming a real issue now. He knows that some expiration dates don't really matter but with things that involved hygiene wise, he wasn't all too sure. Whenever they needed something they go to a library or bookstore and look for books to make homemade items. They know how to make homemade toothpaste and soap and it comes in handy whenever they are far away from the next city. "I think it'll be safe if you use rags."

"I hate being a girl," Rey mumbled. "But I think they should be fine?"

Ben shook his head. "You don't want to risk it. It was one thing when it was a year or two expired but now its four years," he reminded her.

Rey nodded then. "You know this is fine, me having to use rags until I'm old."

He stiffened then. Rey was a bright girl. She's smart. But he hasn't exactly have the talk with her just yet. She was only thirteen but he knows that soon he has to have the conversation with her. She knows vaguely about it from Leslie and when she had her first period last year. Ben was the one to have to explain to her about her period. It wasn't that bad it was just awkward. She was nine when the outbreak happened and so she knew nothing about the human body beforehand. Everything she knew about her body was from him.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he said quickly. He kissed her on her forehead then. "Let's finish up and then go back to the house."

"How long are we going to stay there?"

"Not for a while. Probably for another few days." In the past four years, the most they stayed at a place was for three months. On average they stay at a place for a week or two to scavenge and look for people. They will eventually find a place they will like and settle in but preferably in a place with a group of people. Ben knows that they will find more people. He still has hope.

* * *

It was Rey's turn to make dinner. She made soup with fresh vegetables she found from scavenging gardens. She caught a fish and steamed it and marinated with fresh lemons and herbs. She used a little salt she found in the cupboard, just a little. She's not entirely sure if salt expires or not so she used just a pinch. It's been getting harder with each passing year but they manage.

After dinner, they played Monopoly. Rey doesn't like the game but they found it in the house and it keeps them busy. Keeps them sharp. Attentive. Aware.

She wanted to play cards but Ben insisted that variety was good for them.

They played for a few hours before deciding to go to bed. Whenever they settle for at least a week, they wash the sheets and clean the bathroom. They wanted to be safe. The last thing they needed was an infection. They don't exactly sleep in bed just yet. They were kissing again. He was on top of her, his fingers in her hair. She likes being underneath him. She likes feeling his weight. It makes it feel real. He's here and so was she.

It was strange. They have been kissing for a while but each time they do, it feels different. It feels more than just kissing, it was connecting. Bonding.

She gets lost sometimes with him when they kiss. Out of breath. Flushed. Warm. Time goes so fast whenever they were touching. Almost as if they were living instead of trying to survive.

His hand moves from her hair and to her shoulder. It was soothing, his calloused hands on her - rubbing her. He has so many scars from protecting her and she likes feeling them. They were gentle reminders of all that they endured together. His hand moved to her chest and tenderly he cupped her clothed breast. "They're getting big," he stated. She was wearing a bra that was a size too big so she could grow into them and save her time from constantly getting bigger sizes.

Ben's action startled her. He's never done that before but then again they never kissed before either. She didn't know what to think. She remained still, eagerly waiting for his next move. He squeezed her breast again and then moved his hand to her face. She glossed it over then. It was an innocent gesture she knew by the way he just did it once and that was that.

He rolls her so she was on top of him.

Suddenly she feels embarrassed.

Ben senses it and couldn't help but to laugh. "There's nothing to be shy about," he comforts her, touching her cheek. Her face was red and she was barely looking at him now.

"I like it better when you're on top," she said, trying to explain to him. But she couldn't really explain it. It just felt nicer to her with him on her, with him just consuming her. His beard tickling her. She was on top of him but it felt odd. She felt so exposed. So small. She feels something weird hitting her at her pelvic area. She's not sure what it was.

"Why is that?"

"I don't really know."

"I see," he leaned to give her another kiss. He stretched out his arms underneath her then, letting his muscles relax. He laid her on her back again and climbed on top of her. "I know why," he whispered to her.

"Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I do." He dipped his head to kiss her neck then, tickling her sensitive flesh. He licked her then, in little strokes. She squirmed slightly but he kept going, eliciting a tiny sound from her mouth. Her first sound of arousal. "You're growing up. You're becoming a woman." Slowly but surely.

"And that means?"

"You're starting to like grown up things." He left loud kisses on her throat and began to nibble her.

"Grown up things? Like kissing?"

"And touching," he murmured into her warm flesh. He shut his eyes and rubbed his face into her smooth skin. She had pretty skin and he thinks it times to mark it a bit. He ran his teeth against her skin then and began to leave little bites. He can hear her wince in pain. He continued though, sucking on her sensitive skin before biting on to her harder.

"Have you done this before me?"

"Of course." He had a girlfriend before this. He lets his hand run freely to cup her breast again.

She moaned again. He can sense her confusion in what was happening. "I never did this before."

"Of course I know that. Do you like it when I touch you there?" His eyes opened then. He pulled back to her face and lowered himself to be at her eye level.

"It feels nice, like a relief," she blushed harder. "They always hurt when I'm on my period."

"They're also growing that's why," he tells her. "Do you want me to make them feel better again?" He waits for a nod of confirmation to touch her breasts, to relieve her from the soreness. He lets himself slip his hand underneath her shirt, to feel her bare skin. They were tender and they were really sensitive. He kept his eyes on her, watching her become more red. She lets out a relieved sigh. She was so warm there. If only he could play with them for a bit but Ben knew that it was too early for them.

"It feels good," she admitted.

He wanted to touch her breasts for a while. She always told him when her breasts hurt but he never did anything about it until now. He was gentle, carefully massaging her breasts. His fingers grazed her nipples. Her nipples became hard from his touch. He felt his throat become dry but he restrained himself from lifting her shirt. "You're so cute," he couldn't help but to find her expression endearing. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyelids were heavy. Her breathing was loud and broken. She was aroused. He can tell by the way she was clutching on to the sheets.

"I don't feel cute."

"You look so cute," he shook his head. "You really do." He pulled his hands away from her breasts and wrapped his arms around her. He held her close, like he always did but now he nuzzles her.

"You're hard there," she stated, raising her eyebrow. She didn't know what it was earlier and tried to ignored it. But now she couldn't, she felt his hardness hitting her. "Why is that?" He was never hard there before.

"Because I like touching you."

"Is that normal - for you to get hard there?"

He nodded. "When a man is aroused, they get hard. It's like when you like something, you blush. It's beyond your control."

"Is it sore like my breasts?"

"Somewhat, it hurts mainly."

"Is there a way to make it feel better?"

"There is," he cursed underneath his breath. "But I think you're too young for that. You're not quite all grown up just yet."

* * *

Morning came.

They stay curled up in bed still. There was no use in starting the day early when they had all the time in the world. Rey was playing with his hands and his beard. He lets her. "I can't remember how you look without your beard."

"Pretty much the same but without the beard," he laughed.

"What if we do find other people?" she asked him then.

"That's the goal." Find a place with people relatively nearby and build a community. Find a place with a lot of resources and plants. Find a decent house and make it a home. Have a garden and livestock to live off on. But now there was another component to the goal - to eventually start a family of their own years from now.

"What if you meet a girl your age?"

"I won't ever leave you, Rey." He squeezed her hand. "We been through a lot together. People come and go but in the end it's always you and I." He's not going to lie and say that them being together was not out of convenience or survival. But he cares for her, he really does. They shared a bond that he doesn't ever want to break. "We're a team and it's always going to be you and I."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> debating if I should have another chapter


	3. Chapter 3

Rey keeps a journal.

Well that was an understatement. She kept a lot of journals. She filled out a lot over the years. Journals were easy to acquire, just stop by a store and grab a few. She likes to write her thoughts and use it to keep track of the days. She usually gravitates for a bullet journal to have some freedom in layouts and content fill but some stores don't have those journals and so her second options are sketchbooks. She's becoming quite an artist over the years too. They've picked up a bunch of hobbies and interests to keep by.

But she's lucky to always find bullet journals. Their travel load has grown over the years naturally from the journals she filled and books they saved. She's sixteen now and from the last seven years has filled up twenty journals. She writes a lot.

They have about six medical and natural remedy books in their travel load along with nature and camping survival books and nature cookbooks and useful manuals. In total the books they have are about thirty. Of course they have found ways to lessen the weight. They tear out pages that weren't useful and break the book from its spine. She had to let go of some of her journals but it was a necessity. They carried so much already. But it didn't make abandoning memories any easier.

They have been having the talk, or rather Ben's been giving her the talk in settling and having a home. They haven't found any sort of community yet but it's been time that they need to settle. They've been nomads for seven years now and constantly traveling wasn't always pleasant. It was tiresome to unpack, sterilize a place, search for resources, and then repack again.

Ben was not wrong but the goal was to find people and build a community. It was inevitable that they were going to have children and she would want her children to have some options in partners. Ben understands this and wants their future children to grow up with other children and have somewhat of a normal childhood.

A part of her feels that he is getting impatient in waiting. His temper has been getting short lately but Rey doesn't blame him. They've been in a relationship for three years and he's been good to her. The most they do was kiss and hold each other. He wants more, she knew well. But she wants to wait until they find people first.

They weren't that old to begin with. She was sixteen and he was twenty six and they were healthy too. They have plenty of time to settle down when everything fell into place. Except he's losing hope that there are any people left in the world. She doesn't blame him. They haven't seen another human in years. She still has hope though. The world was big and they haven't traveled everywhere just yet.

They've been thinking about set sailing to another place but there were so many cons to it. They have maps and Ben's good at reading maps but the idea of being stuck at sea was terrifying. Ben's been reading up books on sailing but then it comes to the topic of food. Rey knows some tricks in preserving food but the whole unknown was scary. They thought about learning how to fly a plane but then comes the topic of power. When the world was still here, people were dying one by one - there was no need in acquiring sources of fuel and power. So there was no guarantee that whatever place they visit will have fuel. There were logistics to it to - more complications that they've been just going by foot for all these years.

To be safe.

* * *

Sixteen is when Ben tells her that he loves her for the first time.

He tells her this in the morning, the first words that comes out from his mouth. "I love you," he whispered in her ear, burying himself into her long hair. He pressed a soft kiss on her neck. He knows that she isn't old enough yet but he's been wanting to say it for a while to her.

"You love me?" she sounded confused but pleased. It was the first time someone other than her parents had told her they loved her. And just like that, he's reminded of how young she is.

Lazily, he nodded. "I do."

She sat up then. He sat up as well. Perhaps it was a little too early to tell her because she wasn't responding in the way he expected. His hair must have been a mess he could tell by the way she was touching his hair back into place. He couldn't help but to smile at his girl. She was trying to distract herself after his declaration for her. She was shy, her cheeks tinted pink. "You love me?" she addressed it then.

"So much," he breathed, unable to keep his tone even.

"Have you ever loved anyone before?"

He could sense it, her insecurity. "I thought I did but with you it's different." He's been in love twice before the world ended. One was puppy love and the other was attraction based but with her it was more.

"Like end of the world, circumstantial different?"

Ben frowned. "Rey," his tone was firm. "I love you. And I know you know it too."

She went silent.

"If somehow the world went back to the way things were, I still want to be with you." He held her hand tightly and locked his eyes on to hers. "Even if it's wrong I still want to be with you."

He watched tears run down her face.

His skin tightened. He hated seeing her cry. "What's wrong?"

"I love you too."

* * *

Sixteen was also when Ben proposed to her. He loved her and he wanted their relationship to be more. On a day that it was her turn to make dinner, he covered the place they were staying in with flowers. He had enough time to do this since getting food was a process. He covered the entire house with flowers and waited for her. The day before it was his turn to make dinner and he used the time alone to his advantage to pick a ring for her.

There were a lot of rings for him to chose from but he picked out a simple ring. Jewelry had lost value and meaning some time ago and he liked the ring he had picked. It was modest and practical, a gold band with a little diamond.

"I love you," he tells her, slipping the ring on her slim finger. He kissed hand tenderly. "I don't mind waiting, I just want us to be more." The word girlfriend never settled well with Ben. Rey was more than that, always was more than that. She was his partner. She was the reason why he was still alive. The reason he was still living. Hoping.

Rey couldn't help but to look around. She was amazed that the house was covered completely in flowers. There were so many flowers that she felt she was in a field. A field of wildflowers that melted into one color, a lavender dream. She stared at the ring then. It felt like a dream. "I -I," she blinked. "I can't believe you actually went through the trouble -

"It was the least I can do," he chuckled, kissing her cheeks.

"I didn't expect this," she meant it. Honestly she didn't. It was just them, she didn't expect him to propose to her or put this much effort. It was just them, there was no need for him to do all of this. She couldn't help but to be dazed that he did all of this in such a short amount of time.

Ben went on his knee then. "Will you marry me?"

Rey couldn't help but to laugh. "Of course," she laughed softly. She pulled him off the ground and kissed him.

* * *

When Rey was young, she dreamed about her wedding. As a little girl she wanted a big wedding, like all the ones she saw in the movies. Rey was older now and she wanted none of that. Looking back she sees now how much of an investment weddings were back in the day. It was so unnecessary, mainly a display of wealth and status. She was older now and stopped thinking about childish things like that.

It was hard to want things with the way things were but she loved Ben and that was all that mattered. They got married a few days after he proposed to her.

They spent the whole day away from one another getting ready.

Ben was in charge of making dinner that day and getting a suit.

Rey spent the whole day trying on wedding dresses, trying to find the right one. Thankfully there was only one bridal store in this city and that limited her choices to pick from. It was bittersweet. Rey couldn't help but to feel happy and sad at the same time. The people they loved were gone and weren't going to be here. They were doing this not for anyone else but themselves as it should be.

She wished her mother and friends were still here so they could help her pick out the right dress. She wished her dad was here so he could walk her down the aisle. But there wasn't going to be a ceremony so it didn't matter. They couldn't exactly have a normal wedding either way, it was just them. They couldn't even have a cake on their wedding day. Rey knows that they technically could have a cake if she learned how to make flour but that was such a long process to do. Rey pulled her thoughts from the negativity and reminded herself of all the good things. They were going to have an intimate wedding - just them. She couldn't help but to find it romantic.

He loved her and he wanted to give her a normal experience. He doesn't have to do all these unnecessary and extraneous things but he loved her.

It was an experience trying on dresses by herself. It took her a while to try on each dress with having to deal with the zipper on her own. Most of the dresses didn't fit her quite well. She was small. It took her a while to figure out her size too since she hadn't worn a dress in years since they were impractical. Rey couldn't help but to feel overwhelmed by the variety of dresses to choose from. So many of them were so frilly and extravagant. She's thankful that the bridal store kept all the dresses in bags for it preserved and protected the dresses from dust over the years.

She settled on the tenth dress. It was a pretty dress, it was tulle and sheer. You could see the outline of her figure in the dress peaking through. The tulle was an off white, more of a pale gray. It was off the shoulder with a sweetheart neckline and had an a line flowy skirt. What she liked best about the dress was the intricate white floral beading it had all over her chest and most of the skirt, giving it a modest touch to it. It was shear but it covered the right parts. She felt so delicate in it and feminine.

Once she found the right veil, she hung the items on the rack and sat down on the floor and wrote her vows in her journal. Rey takes her time with this, going through pages of cross outs and scribbles. There was a lot she wanted to say but she wanted it to be short, about a paragraph's worth. She wanted it to be just right.

It's starting to get dark. Soon it was going to be sunset. Rey sighed and quickly flipped through the pages. She wanted her vows to be perfect but there was no time. She sighed. She grabbed her dress and veil and put in a bag to cover it. She was going to change at home and didn't want Ben to see until she was in it. When she gets back to the house the home is covered in flowers again along with candles. He's sitting on the chair waiting for her, already dressed in a suit. Dinner was already on the table too.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," Rey said, blushing.

"Take your time," he gave her a small smile.

Rey ran up the stairs and locked the door. She put on the dress and stared at herself in the mirror. The dress didn't have much padding but it didn't look right with a bra. She could see her bra through at the sides and neckline region. She took off her bra then. She couldn't help but to hug her chest. She always wore a bra, even when she went to sleep. She wasn't used to it. She could see her nipples poking through but it's okay, she assured herself. There was no reason for her to be embarrassed. Rey took off her hair tie and brushed her hair. She put on her veil but suddenly it doesn't seem right to her. It feels a little silly wearing it. Too frilly.

She stood there in front of the mirror and examined herself. She wanted to wear some makeup but she doesn't want to risk using anything expired. And it didn't really matter any way. She doesn't know how to put makeup on. She pinched her cheeks though to give herself some color. It was something she remembered seeing women do in the old timey movies.

She decides on not wearing a veil. She takes off her underwear then and puts on a white lacy one that she found at the bridal store. She was wearing a white dress and figured to wear something light colored underneath since white was often sheer. It took her a while to find underwear that that wasn't too revealing.

She took a deep breath. She doesn't know why she's nervous but she is. "I'm ready," she called out as she headed downstairs. She took her time going downstairs, trying to give herself a moment to settle her nerves.

"Wow," he blinked. He stood there. He was still as if he had seen a ghost.

"What? Do I look silly?"

Ben chuckled. "No," he smiled "You look beautiful."

Her face became pink again. "Really?"

He nodded. He couldn't help but to look at her. It's been years since he's seen her in a dress. He's been watching her grow up but he didn't realize how much she's grown. She's usually covered up and wore loose clothing. He didn't know how small her waist or how pretty her figure was or how big her breasts have gotten. She's nearly spilling out of her dress. The dress was slightly big on her, he could tell. He kissed her cheek then. "How did I get so lucky?"

Rey blushed again.

Ben laughed. He liked seeing her embarrassed. Always have.

"You trimmed your beard," she commented.

"I wanted to try to look decent for you."

"You look nice."

"I made you something," he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair.

"Really? You did?"

"Yeah," he blushed then. "It's nothing really," he was mumbling again. He showed it to her then, holding it as delicately as he could. He had made her a flower crown from white flowers and silver ribbon. "I thought it'll look nice in your hair."

Rey couldn't help but to smile at her gentle giant. Rey touched his fingers then, tracing over the tiny cuts. There were so many flowers, he was bound to cut himself. "Thank you," she said, going on her tiptoes to kiss him.

* * *

"I got us this," he said after they exchanged their vows. It was a simple exchanging of vows, only took them a few minutes each. They both liked how simple their wedding was. Dress up and exchange vows and then have dinner. He showed her the polaroid camera. "I found it a while ago. There's some film left and I wanted to save it for a special occasion."

"Do you think it still works?"

"Let's hope." He gestured for her to smile. She does so and he takes a photo. He held the photo and waited for it to develop. He counted the seconds watching the darkness fade away.

"It works!" she beamed, watching the photo appear. She couldn't help but to be fascinated by it. It was nice capture too, with her behind the flower wall he made. He used roses for the walls and it was a nice contrast. She couldn't help but to be excited at the camera. It was nice to be able to capture memories. She was definitely going to keep those photos forever.

Ben pulled her by the waist then, pulling her close to him. "Cheese," he says, pressing the button. She couldn't help but to giggle. She held on to the photo, watching it develop as well. He had long arms and managed to capture the both of them in the frame and half of their torsos too. The photo looked so nice against the flower background and complimented the beading so well.

"I want to take a picture of you," she said. She wished there was a way they could time the camera so they can have a full body photo but she had to work with what she had. He smiled for her then.

"There's two more photos left," he tells her.

"We can save it for another occasion." Maybe for when they have children if the film still lasts.

Ben nodded. "Good idea. Hopefully I can find the same film for it," he said, setting the camera and photos on the table. "Do you want to dance?" he asked her.

"Don't we need music for that?" Before she could say another word, she hears music then. It took her a while to register the sound for she hadn't heard music in such a long time.

Ben suppressed a smile. He had discovered the portable stereo in the attic some time ago and managed to find batteries and CDs from one of the stores. A soft ballad was playing in the background. He took her by the hand and guided her. He hadn't danced in years and she's never danced before. Their movements were stiff and awkward. She kept stepping on him but he didn't mind. They were slow and he held her close.

"You really put a lot of thought to this." Her heart was racing. She tried to look at him but she couldn't. She knows what he was going to say. She knows that he didn't mind.

"You deserve so much and I just want to give you all that I can," his eyes lowered. He couldn't help but to frown. "You deserve everything. Honestly, you do. I love you, Rey," he meant it. He meant every single word. "This isn't the way I wanted us to get married -

"I know," she said earnestly, interrupting him. She knew a long time ago - before them, when the world ended that things were never going to be the same again. A normal life, any sort social norm didn't exist anymore but he was trying to give that to her. "I know it isn't but it's everything to me."

The song ended and transitioned into another, melting effortlessly. They kept dancing but they went slower until they stopped. He stood still, staring at her intently. It was getting harder to pull away. To control himself. This wasn't what he wanted - marrying her when she was only sixteen but it felt right to him. It still did. He knows that she's still too young but he wanted her. He wanted them to be more. And now she was his wife.

She interlocked her fingers with his and held him tight.

Things felt so much different now. In ways that he cannot explain. He pressed his forehead against hers and squeezed her hands for life. He could her the sounds of her breathing. Soft. Gentle. "Just because you're my wife doesn't change anything," he reminded her, his eyes flickering open. "I'm going to continue to wait for you until you're ready. Marrying you was never about having permission to sleep with you," he meant it. Every single word. "Marrying you was to show you how much I love you and that I'll be loyal to you. That I'll wait for you. There's no one else I want to be with." His kissed her cheeks and then her lips.

"I think I'm ready," she whispered to his mouth. He kept his hands in hers, holding onto her from grabbing her.

Ben forced himself to shake his head. "No. I don't think you are," his voice was hoarse. He swallowed hard as she moved to kiss his throat. He restrained himself by squeezing her hands. He's been waiting for her to say those words but not now. She's so young still. "You're just caught in the moment."

"It's a very important moment," she countered with a sweet plea.

"You're still too young."

"How old were you when you lost your virginity? I believe you were sixteen as well." She pressed another kiss before nibbling his skin. She wanted to kiss his mouth but he towered her and she could barely reach.

"It was different," he reminded her. "It was with someone the same age as me."

"What difference does it make if I wait longer?" she asked. She released her fingers from his grasp and linked her arms around the back of his neck. "It'll still hurt the first time regardless." She was tempting him.

"You're not mentally or emotionally ready," he said firmly. He couldn't help but to lift her in his arms. She was so small and he wanted her to be at his level. She was so light in his arms. Always had been.

She touched his face and sensed his pain. "I don't think you're ready either," she tells him. She could feel it, his emotions that he hid so well underneath his indifferent façade. "I don't think you're ready to hurt me in any sort of way just yet."

He didn't respond.

She knew then that what she said was true. "It'll hurt just a little," she reminded him of his words. "It's only natural." It was only going to be a little bit of blood, he always assured her.

He tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm so much bigger than you. I want to wait until you're done growing."

"I think I'm done physically growing."

Ben chuckled. "I don't think you're done with growing just yet."

She couldn't help but to feel warm all over. She liked it when he looked at her like that, tenderly and endearingly. He looked at her the way he used to before the world ended, back when things were normal. "What do you want to do?"

"I just want to carry you to bed and curl beside you. I want to hold you."


	4. Chapter 4

She was the reason why he was still alive.

Many survivors were committing suicide while the world was rapidly falling apart. People were dying left and right to a point that there was no time to bury them. There was nothing but piles of dead bodies scattered across the city. Everyone he loved was gone. His mother. His father. His uncle. Angelli. It only made sense to go with them too. What was the point of living when everything was slipping away?

It was supposed to be easy.

He wanted to commit suicide in his childhood home. In the place he grew up in. In the place that he buried his family. He wanted to die with them. It was supposed to be easy. Until he heard her crying. Ben knew that he shouldn't have gone to her but his conscience was drawn to the sound. He searched for the sound, despite knowing well that he shouldn't have pity on anyone for there was nothing he could do.

The cry was coming from the next house over. He shouldn't have trespassed but he couldn't ignore it either.

He found her in her parents' room, holding her mother's dead body in her arms. There was no color in her mother's body.

_"She's not coming back," he tells the little girl. She was sobbing. Ben looked around and realized that her father must have died some time ago. "Where is your father buried?"_

_"In-in th-e backyard," she heaved._

_"I'll bury her for you," he offered. He couldn't help but to examine Rey. He hadn't seen her in a year due to college but she was still so young. "Is there anyone you can go to?"_

_Rey shook her head. "I have no one else."_

_His heart skipped a beat. He shouldn't have gone here for now he was involved now whether he wanted to or not. "I'm sorry. You can stay a night with me until we figure things out."_

Ben remembers that night. He buried her mother and then took Rey home with him. They were neighbors, only a house apart. He didn't think much of it. He had her shower in his place and take a tonic for he didn't want her to get sick. Rey was holding her dead mother only hours before and her house was dirty and looked like it hadn't been cleaned in months. Ben showered afterwards and once he was done, he made them dinner and hot chocolate for dessert. She barely ate that night and only drank her hot chocolate. He tried to brighten her spirits but there wasn't anything he could do.

She was all alone.

_"You'll sleep here," he said as he fluffed the pillows, trying to make the living room couch comfy. He covered her in two blankets and then turned on the TV to keep her company._

_"Thank you so much."_

_Ben smiled and wiped her eyes. She had such a cute voice, like a little princess. "Get some rest. I'll try calling for help tomorrow."_

_"I can't sleep. I want to get my stuffed animals -_

_"We'll get them tomorrow." He wants to wash them first before letting her touch them. The nature of her house was close to run down. There was mold everywhere and bugs running around. Ben knew why though. Rey was only a child and her parents got really sick and were unable to maintain their home. It was evident that she was just like the other survivors and was immune to the outbreak but he was amazed that she didn't get ill from the poor living conditions. She was so thin too, her collarbones were prominent and her eyes were sullen._

_"Please don't go. I'm scared," she breathed._

_"There's nothing for you to be afraid of." He turned up the volume on the TV._

_Her eyes started to tear up as she shook her head. "Please don't leave."_

_He frowned. He didn't like seeing her cry. "I won't then. I won't."_

It was supposed to be only one night but it turned into several weeks. There was no one that was alive that wanted to take her in. Things were not getting any better. Things were only getting worse. People advised him to do the right thing. They gave him two pills, one for him to take and one to give to her. It was supposed to easy but it wasn't. This girl had grown attached to him for he was all that she had left. She was still mourning and he didn't have the courage to kill her. He didn't have the heart to leave her on her own either.

Ben tried to several times to give her the pill but he couldn't. She didn't know what the pills were and that alone consumed him with guilt. She trusted him and he couldn't bear to lie to her. She was such a sweet girl. He wasn't strong enough to hurt her let alone kill her.

He holds her in his arms and takes her up the stairs. He takes his time in laying her in their bed. She was still in her wedding dress. He stood there, taking in the sight. Her breasts were slightly spilling out of her dress, exposing the milkiness of her skin. Her face was flushed and her lips and throat were bruised from him. His eyelids became heavy as he felt his breathing quicken. She was such a beautiful girl. He wanted to take her. It was their wedding night after all. He had dreamed about her bleeding on her pretty white dress for the last few years. He wanted it, craved to see the sight of her blood on his dick. He wanted to be the reason why her dress was stained.

"Are you alright?" she asked. She sat up then, her eyes large and bright.

She was so innocent. He couldn't take her now but it was their wedding night. Ben couldn't help but to feel a sense of entitlement. He took her in and has been looking after her for all these years. She belonged to him and he wanted to have her completely. "It's nothing," he assured, clearing his throat. He took off his jacket. "It's a little bit warm in these clothes," he explained as he yanked off his tie. That was true. He wasn't used to wearing so many layers.

"Let me help you then," she began to unbutton his shirt.

He hesitated but instead he lets her. The whole manner is done slowly. She takes her time but her intentions of it was innocent, he could tell by the way she was at ease. She leaves him in his undershirt and then her fingers trail down to his belt. He couldn't help but to stiffen. To his dismay she just takes off the belt and that was that. She gives him a small smile but it wasn't a sly smile but a pure and earnest smile. She has to know what she was doing to him was pure torture, she has to. "Do you remember the first night I slept in the same bed as you?" he asks her then. He sounds drunk when he said it but he wasn't. He hadn't drank anything but something in him caused him to feel disorientated.

She's a little confused by his question but she thinks for a moment, trying to match his serious tone. "I do. I believe I was nine."

Ben nodded. "You were nine and I was nineteen. Can you tell me what happened?" She tries to lay on the bed but he doesn't let her. He makes her sit up just like him.

"I think it was still early on, like a month of knowing you."

"Go on." He interlocks his hands with hers.

"We were still living in our home city then. I was still a kid and you were trying to make the best of things. We played a lot of games and we had ice cream for dinner."

Ben laughs at the memory, lets himself snort. He was so embarrassed when he did that. He squeezes her hands because he knew what was next. "And when night came, what happened?"

"It was time to sleep. You tucked me into bed and tucked in my stuffed animals too," she couldn't help but to sigh. She missed her comfort toys but she had to grow up and quickly. "And you slipped yourself underneath the covers. You never did that - sleep in the same bed with me. I asked why and you said you just wanted to have me close."

"How did that make you feel?" He tilted his head and looked at her, trying to desperately to remember this - to always remember this very moment.

"Happy," Rey laughed. She doesn't read his body language and it makes him all tense. And just like that he's reminded of how young she still is. "Happy," she repeats herself. She remembers that night - remembers how it cheered her up and how she kept cuddling with him. She remembers it clearly - how big of a man he was that there wasn't enough room for them and her stuffed animals on the bed. She had to place her toys on the floor that night. "You were about to give us our vitamins that night like you always do but then you realized they were expired."

He holds her hands as tight as he could, holding her for dear life - reminding her that he was hers no matter what. "Those weren't vitamins that night," he exhaled.

Rey blinked. "They weren't?"

He took a deep breath again. He had been keeping this in for so long - he expected to be relieved once it was out in the open but he wasn't. He sees her face, sees her pretty little face crush up. "You were too young to know what was really happening," he swallowed the lump in his throat. "It was common and encouraged to...go."

"You were going to kill me that night?"

Ben nodded. He was supposed to give themselves the pill and tucked themselves to bed and tell her sweet things before the pill kicked in. The pill was strong and would have taken full effect within a few minutes. "I was going to free us both from this world," his voice trembled. His head started to hurt and his body was shaking. Just like how he did all those years ago. "I was advised to - constantly told that it was the right thing to do but I couldn't. It was going to be a peaceful death but I wasn't strong enough." He watches tears trickle from her cheeks. He doesn't let go of her though, his hands are laced with hers. Always.

"You are much stronger than you know," she tells him, her lips were quivering. "You decided to live a life and looking after someone instead of dying. I don't think that makes a person weak, it makes you brave."

* * *

When morning came, they packed up. It was time to find a new home. A new home that they could stay for a while. It was always hard packing up and leaving things behind. She had grown accustomed to the place that's been theirs for the last month but that's how it always was. Rey contemplated on bringing her wedding dress with her. It was a memento but it wasn't portable one like the photos and pressed flowers she kept in her main journal. The wedding dress was extra weight and it wasn't something she could use always.

It wasn't logical to bring but Ben lets her keep it.

"I can't possibly keep it," she attempted to conceal her relief. "It's impractical for me to bring -

Ben smirked. He saw right through her show. "It's a pretty thing and you know how I am with letting go of pretty things." He touched her cheek.

Rey grinned and pecked a kiss on his mouth.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, mood changing. He was concerned for she took it so well.

"I'm fine - you didn't do anything. I can't be upset for what you didn't do."

"Do you trust me?" he inhaled, holding in his breath.

"I do," she said earnestly, buttoning up his plaid shirt. He was wearing a red plaid shirt today. "Remember what you said three years ago, that things are different with us now. I can put the things you do from that moment on to account," she chuckled.

Ben couldn't help but to smile. She has a way for patching up things and making everything better. He loves the way she smiles and it makes him happier to know that she was his, always. They head out then. This time in a car that they found. They would find cars and take it as far as the car would let them before ultimately abandoning it. There were still gas stations around but it wasn't always a guarantee if they still worked.

It was the same thing with the plumbing system. Most cities still have it fully functional after all these years because most of it is all automatic and had been for decades. There was about a hundred miles left in this car. Ben's surprised that the car still works after years of not being driven. He's careful though, only driving up to forty to be safe. Mainly they just drove the car until it ran out of gas because most of the times they don't have access to a functioning gas station. Most of the stations were wiped dry.

Eventually, like they always do they walk. Walking was the most reliable except carrying all of your possessions on your back doesn't quite help. They try to walk once they hit a city and not in the middle of nowhere. Once they hit the city, Ben hunts for dinner while Rey searched for a decent place for them to sleep so they can start fresh the next day searching for people.

The city that they're in it's nice. It's empty like all the other places but some of the lights still work. Humans are really amazing.

He catches a bird for them and cleans it and roasts it. He accompanies it with some herbs and spices and some potatoes he found in a garden. They decide to stay in an apartment complex that has a nice view of the city. The one thing that was nice out of this was being able to see the full night sky. All the stars. All the colors. All the galaxies. They eat dinner at the fire escape. "It's such a beautiful view isn't it?" he asked her.

She didn't respond. She was absorbed in her wedding ring, he could tell by the way she was touching it.

Ben put his plate aside and held her hand. "What's on your mind?"

"We haven't really finished our wedding," she tells him.

"What do you-" he paused. Oh. "Well it doesn't mean our marriage is illegitimate."

"Doesn't it though?" she turned to look at him.

"It doesn't really matter," he kisses her hand. "It's just a social construct. What matters is what we feel is right."

She curls inside his arms.

"We have the rest of our lives together."

* * *

They were in a bookstore together, looking through books for fun.

They always did this to ease their anxieties from constant travel. It's been a few weeks since they got married and they were at their fifth city. It was needed for them to destress and spend time with one another. They always did this. They would spend a whole day in the bookstore and read whatever they were gravitated towards to. Today Ben was gravitated towards a classic novel and Rey, a graphic novel.

They were sitting on the floor, sitting next to one another. Side by side.

"What was that?" Ben asked. It sounded like footsteps. It might be an animal. He stood up immediately and peered at his surroundings. He pulled out his gun. "Stay here," he ordered. "Take out your gun. It's best you are prepared," he instructed.

He roamed through the store.

He was careful.

Strategic. He kept his stance firm and powerful.

He scanned the whole perimeter but found nothing. Ben put his gun away. He goes back to her, still looking around to double check that everything was cleared. He probably heard something dropping on the floor. Immediately he pulls out his gun again as he sees a figure go to Rey. She was still sitting on the floor. That girl, he groaned. She should have been in defensive mode.

To his surprise, she's immediately conversating with the human. She's laughing too and it makes him upset that she isn't guarded. Ben still pointed his gun at the figure. Even though this was a human, Ben didn't trust people right off the bat. Especially men. He's had too many bad experiences of protecting his little Rey from predators.

"Hopefully I didn't scare you," the man apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you - I just thought I saw other humans and I got excited -

"No worries. I've been there," she laughed brushing it aside. She eyed Ben and gestured him to put the gun down. Ben refused.

The man sensed her eye contact drifting and turned around. The man flinched naturally and quickly pulled out a weapon of his own and pointed it at Ben.

"It's okay!" Rey said, going in between the two men. "He's just protective that's all. We're very careful with meeting new people." She glared at Ben and stubbornly he put his gun away. "We've been searching for humans for years and let's say we haven't had the best experience or luck."

The man nodded. "I get it. My name's Finn."

Rey gave him a polite smile. "Nice to meet you. I'm Rey."

Finn smiled. Ben studied the boy's appearance. He was young, about Rey's age. This very fact made Ben feel protective of Rey. "Nice to meet you." He shook her hand. He turned to Ben then with an open hand.

Ben stared at Finn's hand and turned away.

Finn's mouth fell opened slightly.

"This is Ben," Rey spoke for him. "He's just careful that's all," she explained. "But once he gets to know you, he'll open up. He's very sweet, a gentle man."

"Well it's nice to meet you," Finn forced himself to smile. He turned to Rey, avoiding Ben's glare. "I live in the next city over with my group."

"Group?" Rey beamed. "You mean there's a group of people?"

"I can tell you guys haven't been around people for a while."

"We haven't."

"There's a big group of us, we're settled in Resistance City. We have explorers look for other people into our city. I'm an explorer," Finn explained.

Rey's eyes flickered in fascination and awe. "How many people are there in your city?"

"About one hundred and fifty people but we're constantly looking. My city first started off with five survivors when the outbreak happened."

"A hundred and fifty?!" she exclaimed.

"Well it's going to be a hundred and fifty two now," Finn grinned, gesturing for them to follow him.

Rey followed him naturally but Ben yanked her by the wrist. It sounded too good to be true. They just met him. Ben shook his head at her.

"I have a good feeling about this," Rey insisted.

Ben rolled his eyes. "You're too trusting," he kept his voice low. "You literally just met this guy five minutes ago. He could have killed you."

"But he didn't and he seems like a nice guy."

He frowned at her.

"If I'm wrong you can kill him."

Ben sighed and allowed themselves to follow this stranger.

Finn turned his head and noticed that they weren't following him. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing - it's just we want to get our things first before heading out," Rey spoke for them. She knew well that if she let Ben talk, he was going to make things difficult with his hostile attitude.

"Of course," Finn nodded.

* * *

They headed out. On foot. Ben kept his distance and purposely walked behind, keeping an eye on this man that was having a conversation with his Rey. He wants to read a person first before trusting them. Finn seems nice, very bubbly but also dimwitted.

Rey was innocent and naïve. Ben could tell she's taken a liking to Finn - not in a romantic sense but as a friend. It upsets him because usually Rey was reserved with strangers but Ben can tell that with Finn being the same age as her changed things.

"My Ben is usually a soft teddy bear," Rey said fondly.

"I get it though. You guys just met me, it's normal for your brother to still be protective of you," Finn whispered.

"I'm her husband," Ben bit every word out.

Finn's ears went red. "Oh I'm sorr-ry," he stammered, turning to face Ben. "I-I didn't know." This was the first time Ben spoke to him and he definitely could tell now that Rey and Ben were not siblings. It was suddenly obvious by their accents. "I know now - you're not British," Finn blushed. God why did he say that? Of course it was obvious.

Rey squeezed Ben's hand, attempting to settle his nerves. It helps, just a bit. He squeezes her hand and decides to keep her close to him instead. She looks at him, looks at him lovingly. His glare softens at the sight of her big eyes. _I'm not threatened_ , he wanted to say. He wasn't. He just afraid of her getting attached to someone and heaven forbid something bad happened.

She gave him a teasing smile.

Ben glared and shook his head.

"Of course you're not," she whispered to him. She went on her toes to kiss her husband's cheek.

"So how long have you guys been together?" Finn asked once he sensed Ben relaxing.

"We've been together for seven years."

Finn stiffened.

"We just got married recently," Ben corrected. Rey didn't understand the question. "We've known each other for years, even before the outbreak."

"Wait how old are you?"

"I'm sixteen," Rey said.

"I'm sixteen too!" Finn chimed, changing the conversation. He knew then that he shouldn't ask anymore questions. It was obvious that Ben was older than Rey. Ben was massive, a giant with a sturdy frame and a beard. Naturally Finn assumed that Ben was Rey's older protective brother. "Wow that's nice that you've guys known each other for a long time. I have a girlfriend her name's Rose. We've been dating for a year."

"Aw! How did you meet her?"

Ben listens as Rey and Finn have another conversation. She was glowing right now, happy to finally meet someone her age for once. Ben feels happy that she's able to have a normal experience but he's hesitant at the same time. He can tell by Finn's body language that Finn was uncomfortable to know about their relationship. Finn was uneasy about the age difference. It was apparent. Finn felt it was wrong. It wasn't, Ben wanted to say. Ben's heart skipped a beat as he realized that they were about to enter into society again.

He knows well that society won't accept them.

A sixteen year old girl and a twenty six year old man married.


	5. Chapter 5

They've been settled for almost a month but Ben doesn't feel settled. He doesn't feel welcomed here. Perhaps it was a mix of things. He's not used to be around any other person besides his wife. He's so self conscious, careful of his actions in the presence of anyone else. Ben was fully aware he was intimidating but he doesn't put much effort to soften his interactions. He knows very well that people in this city were uncomfortable of his relationship.

He wants to leave.

Ben doesn't say a word because he loves Rey and she was so happy. She was so happy to be around other people, especially people her age. But when she was around them, he's reminded how truly young she was. She was still a child. Seeing how she interacts with people her age doesn't make him feel any better about their relationship.

He doesn't belong here.

His thoughts are emphasized as he watches her get ready for a dance. The leaders thought it would be nice for the teenagers to have sort of normalcy for once, to let them be children. He rests his head on her lap as she's trying different styles for her hair. She's giddy, smiling cheek to cheek. He couldn't help but to wonder if she was this excited getting ready for their wedding.

"How about this hairstyle?" she nudged him gently to look.

Rey didn't have to, he was already looking. Her hair was in a crown braid with tiny white flowers in it. Baby's breath he thinks. "I like your hair just down or in buns."

"I think this is nice," she ignores him. She pinched her cheeks then to give herself more color. She nudged him but he refused to leave her lap. "Please I have to change."

A part of him wants to tell her not to go but instead he complies. He sits on the bed as he watches her put on an off the shoulder long pink dress. It was pretty but she looks really young in it. "Don't have too much fun," he smirked. He looks up at her with unwavering warmth and gives her a small smile.

"We will have _all_ the fun," she grinned, squeezing his hands. "Come on get dressed."

Ben shook his head. "I'm not going," he said gently.

Rey blinked. "Why not?"

"This dance is for teenagers."

"You are my date," she laughed. She was fully aware of the event and didn't understand why he was reminding her about it.

He sighed softly. "I don't belong here."

Rey shook her head. She still wasn't getting it.

"Rey," his voice was firm. She became silent, shaken by the change in his tone. "I don't belong here sweetheart," he interlocked his hands with hers.

She pulled away from him. She could feel her heart pounding. She was panicking. He was looking at her as if he was going to let her go. "What are you trying to say?"

"Rey," he remained calm. "You deserve so much better."

"Is there someone else?" she swallowed hard.

"No," he doesn't take a second to think. "There's no one else but you." There were women his age shamelessly flirting and throwing themselves at him. He denied them every time. He was in love with Rey. He didn't know how much he loved her until being here. Loving her was not out of convenience or situational, he was really in love with her. He loves her even though he could not touch her. Loves her even though he has to wait.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you saying- then?" she snapped. She could barely breathe. Could barely speak.

He hugged her by the waist and buried his face there. He held her tight as if it was the last time. "You have a chance to have a normal life here - I don't think I can be so selfish and keep you," his voice was breaking.

"Stop it!" she screamed. "I don't want anyone else!" She pulled him away and grabbed him by the face. "I just want you," she exhaled. Her eyes were watering. "I just want you."

"I know how boys look at you." He was fully aware that the teen boys didn't respect their marriage and that many were trying to take her away from him. Everyone here questioned their legitimacy of their marriage. Rey mentioned to Rose in confidence that she was still a virgin and now everyone knew about it. "I know what their intentions are," his tone is hard.

"Why should you care? I don't want to be with anyone else."

"I love you Rey. I want what's best for you - I really do. I want to give you the life you never got to have."

Rey kissed him then. He turned away but she still kissed him, peppering soft kisses on his cheeks. His mouth. His forehead. His jaw. "I love you Ben," she could barely say his name. The idea of ending their marriage killed her. She was trembling, tears still streaming down her face. "I-I just want you," she stammered. She was heaving uncontrollably. "Only you."

"Please don't say things like that to me," he rasped. He kept denying her from kissing him but he wanted to, desperately he wanted to. Little sounds of pleasure escaped his mouth as she began to kiss his neck. He wants to tell her to stop but he also didn't. If this was going to be the last time she kissed him, he wanted to remember it. Remembering how sweet it was.

"I won't, not ever," she breathed. She was sobbing. He couldn't help but to wrap his arms around her. "I made a promise to be with you forever. And you did too. You can't take that away." She sounded so much of a little girl.

Ben felt his heart pull. It hurts, it hurts to push her away.

"I'm yours," she locked her eyes on to him. Her lips were quivering. She looked so fragile. "Please tell me you are mine."

His eyes flickered as he let out a little sound of weakness. His hands were shaking. They were holding on to her. He looks at her, really looks at her. She hadn't looked this frightened since he had first kissed her. "Always," he whispered.

She kisses him again. He kisses her this time. He's not as soft as her, he kisses her roughly. His hands are on her but they're leaving bruises. He just wants to hold on to her and the idea of it terrifies him of letting her go. She was his everything. The reason why he was still alive.

"I love you Ben Solo," she says his full name.

His jaw twitched from the sound of her voice. So vulnerable. So open. Just for him. "I love you Rey Solo," he answered back. He initially wanted to call her by her maiden name but it was foreign to him. She was his girl. She wasn't going to be anyone else's. She gets on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck and kisses him harder on the mouth. "You're going to be late to your dance," he groaned. He hates forcing himself away from her.

"I don't care," she breathed, staring at him with half lidded eyes.

Ben let out a moan from the sight. "But you took the time to get ready -

He stopped talking as she got off from his lap. He went silent as he watched her unzip her dress. His eyes widened but he doesn't stop her. A part of him wanted to see. She lets the dress fall to the floor. He tries to think if there was a time he's ever seen her naked. He keeps his eyes on her, touching himself involuntarily as she discarded her bra and underwear. He cursed underneath his breath at the sight.

She doesn't try cover herself. She doesn't seem to be embarrassed but he was. Embarrassed that he was touching himself and not turning away. There were so many times he wanted to sneak a peek over the last two years but he was a gentleman with her. She was letting him see her. How could he refuse? Ben he wanted to, honestly he did but he was so aroused. She was giving herself to him. "You're so pretty," he rasped. His eyes were roaming every inch of her body. Her skin was so soft and dainty. He eyed at her curves, her little breasts, the pinkness of her little pussy. He licked his lips at the sight. He's not entirely sure what he wanted to do first - have a taste or feel her skin.

"I want to see you," she blushed then.

His hands are already in between her legs. She was standing there, her legs already parted. He was still sitting on the bed, afraid if he stand he would pound her into the ground. "Not yet, if I do I will fuck you," he said in a voice he didn't recognize. He sounded so desperate. Like an animal. "Oh," he winced, cursing again. "You're so warm." He ran his fingers along her lips. She had little tufts of hair, she was mostly bare here. "You're already wet," he couldn't help but to smile. He was losing control. "I haven't fingered you yet." He grabbed her and flipped her on the bed.

She laid down, remaining still. Her legs are open and his hand was there. She was small that his hand covered her perfect pussy completely.

His cock twitched. She wanted him and was giving herself to him. "You want to do this, huh?" he asked. He could feel himself going crazy.

Rey nodded. She doesn't look scared at all. She wants this.

"Is this your first time getting wet?" he lets his finger run along her slick. He could feel her tense altogether as she moaned. His cock twitched again. He loved hearing her make that noise for him.

"No," she answered quietly, blushing.

Ben cursed again. He slipped his finger into her warmth and sighed in relief. She felt so warm and smelled so good. He wanted to put his mouth on her already but he wanted to savor every single moment. He's been waiting so long for her. "When was the first time you got wet?" he asked, focusing on her. He didn't teach her about playing with herself at all and after all the years together he's never seen her do it either. He would have known too, would have smelled it.

"I was thirteen, we were cuddling. I don't know why I just got wet."

"I was always hard when we cuddled," he reminded her. "I wasn't crazy then, you line yourself along me ever so often."

Rey nodded and hid her face.

"There's nothing to be ashamed about," he assured. "I didn't exactly stop you when you did." He never did. For the last few weeks they started to dry hump each other whenever they cuddled at night. "Please sweetheart, don't hide your face," he begged as he slipped another finger in. She was getting wetter and she was moaning. "I want to see how much you like this."

"You're scaring me."

"Am I?" he stopped altogether.

She uncovered her face. "I don't want you to stop though," she blushed again. "You look so much of an animal right now. Like you are going to eat me."

Ben bit his lip. "I'm going to and more," he promised.

"What?"

His eyes lowered as he went back into playing with her there. "Mmm hmm," he hummed as he fingered her again. Her thighs were shaking and she was bucking her hips. "I'm going to taste you here with my tongue," he deepened his pace, making her moan even more. She was clutching on to the sheets, panting. He pulled his hand away. He heard her sigh in frustration. He showed her his fingers that were coated in a thick white liquid. "You came already," he was proud. He takes no time in sucking his fingers clean. He moaned again. She tasted so sweet.

"Does that taste good?"

He nodded, smirking at her. He feels like he was high. He doesn't feel like he's altogether but he doesn't want to be. He liked hearing her sound like this, so weak and eager for him. He didn't know he could love her moaning this much. "Did it feel good?" he asked, going back in between her legs.

"It did - ah - what are you doing?" His head was in between her legs, his hands gripping on to her thighs.

"It'll feel good," he promised, smiling. He stared at pussy. It was still wet and glistening, covered in her come. "You'll like this even more." He lowered his head and licked her slowly.

"This feels strange," she couldn't help but to laugh.

Ben chuckled and licked her again, going deeper. He swirled his tongue and moved about. She stopped laughing automatically and was pressing her legs together to hold him into place. She liked this, he knew. He pressed his tongue deeper inside, flickering his tongue in and out. "You taste so good," he sighed. She was panting again, pressing on to him for life. He pulled away to kiss her on the mouth.

She squirmed.

He couldn't help but to laugh. "You don't like the taste, huh?" he laughed.

Rey shook her head and laughed. "I don't." She stroked his hair lovingly. She touched his beard then. It was moist from her. She blushed from the sight.

He smiled at her softly. He couldn't believe how easy it was to touch her and for them to be intimate. He spent years being afraid that having sex will change everything, that she will fear him. "I love you," he said again. He cupped her right breast. Every inch of her body was warm, unlike his. He lowered his head and kissed her breasts as he felt them. Her nipples became long and hard. He looked at her breasts. They were so cute. Her nipples were nice and rosy and perky for him to suck on. "The sounds you make drive me so crazy. You turn me on so much sweetheart," he whimpered as he licked her nipple. She's making his favorite sound again, that sound where she's surprised but pleasantly surprised. He bit her nipple then and nuzzles both of breasts, leaving deep lovely bite marks to bruise later. "I'm going to probably come in my pants soon if I don't take them off."

They both pull away. She helps him get out of shirt as he took off his pants.

He was about to climb on top of her but she stops him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, studying her. He was looking at her close, trying to see what was on her mind.

"It's nothing, it's just -

"Just?"

She stroked his bare chest then and began to touch every single scar. She knows some scars but not all of them. There were so many cuts at his arms. He's forgotten about them, forgotten about the scars he gave to himself.

"I went through a lot before you," his voice lowered. He sees her look at him with sadness as she stroked the past cut marks.

"I remember this," she said fondly. She touched the scar on his shoulder blade. He got that scar from protecting her from a wolf. She kissed his cheek.

"I have more scars from protecting you than anything," he admitted. Rey couldn't help but to smile. His eyes examined her body then. She had a few scars but was overall unblemished. She was so perfect and just his. "You're so pretty," he really meant it. "So perfect."

"Not for long," she stared at her breasts. Her breasts had violet colored bruises on them. "You're going to bruise me up."

He gave her a mischievous smile. "Mine," he dipped his head to kiss her neck. "I'm going to leave a couple here too." He does so, leaves hickeys along her throat and shoulders and chest. He placed his hand then over her folds. "And here too, this is going to be sore."

"I want that," her tone was uneven. She was so eager, his little girl. Her eyes lowered at his erection. She felt him hard for so many years but never thought she would get to see it. He was really big and long. She shouldn't be surprised. He was a large man. He was ready for her, leaking at the tip. She touched him there and he became weak altogether. "Like this?"

He could barely nod. "Does it feel good touching me?"

"It feels strange but you like it and I just want to make you feel good."

"You're so cute," he sucked in some air. Her hands were so soft.

"I don't know what I'm doing please tell me what to do."

His jaw twitched. "Suck me."

"There?" she kept touching him, swirling her finger around his tip.

He nodded immediately, desperately. "Please," he made a whining noise.

She does so. She puts her mouth on his tip. Her mouth was so small. Ben shut his eyes and moaned. Her mouth was so warm. "Oh my god, fuck. Good girl, please try to suck all of me." He grabbed the back of her head and pushed her gently to go down. She does so. Her mouth is small and she could barely reach half of him. "You're such a good girl sweetheart," he praised. He pulled her by the hair and made her move up and down. He wished her hair was down or in a pony tail so he could have better control. "Suck a little harder. Good. Ah. Sweetheart, a little more -yes. Now move back and lick my tip."

There were so many times he wanted to undress her and touch her but he didn't. He loved her too much not to. It feels unreal that they were finally doing this and that she wanted it and she was ready. He spent so many years relieving himself in the shower wishing he could just come all over her. He was going crazy with his dick in her sweet mouth. He held her head and shoved himself inside her mouth. Rey gagged. Immediately he pulled away and kissed her, comforting her. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay it's just you're kinda too big or I'm just too small."

"Maybe it's both," he gave her lopsided smile. He takes her in his arms and kisses her for a long time. They kissed before. They've been kissing for years but this was different. They were both reassuring each other that taking their relationship to the next step was going to be okay. And it did feel okay. "It will hurt," he explained as he climbed on top of her.

"I know, you explained to me this a million times."

"It'll be really quick," he admitted, blushing. "I haven't had sex in a long time. I know I will come really fast but I will make sure you will feel good sweetheart." He touched her temple and smiled back at him.

"I'm ready." She doesn't look scared at all.

"I wished I was able to wait until you were eighteen."

"I think you and I both knew that wasn't going to happen."

"It's going to hurt so much," he frowned. He didn't want to hurt her.

"It's okay I want this. I know its going to hurt but I want to feel you inside of me. I want to be close to you."

"I wanted to take you on our wedding night." He's fingering her again, prepping her. "You have no idea how much I wanted to. I wanted to stain your pretty white dress with your blood."

Rey shivered and she suddenly became aware that they were naked but she wasn't scared. It felt so natural. "I am yours, you could have done whatever you want to me."

"Sweetheart please don't say things like that."

"Why not?"

"It makes me want to do bad things." He kissed her nose. "I don't like being rough with you."

Rey laughed. "All these bruises say a different thing."

"I really want to come all over you. I want to take off your clothes when you're asleep and have my way with you," he admitted.

"You can do that."

"I don't think that's right."

"I'm not saying you can't."

His throat became dry. Was she giving him permission? "Well let me know how you feel after we do this for the first time. You might feel different."

"Try me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wondering if you guys like my fluff works more or the dark ones.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> due to a lot of requests, going to continue this for a bit.

It ends all too soon.

His spend is on her thigh. He groaned at the sight of it for it was laced with a streak of her blood. He forces himself to break apart to give her space to clean herself before collapsing on to her chest. He was still panting, exhausted and utterly disappointed that he finished so early. Rey wasn't making a deal out of it though, it was mainly him that was upset with himself.

Ben hadn't had sex in years. Naturally he finished early. He couldn't help but to be embarrassed about it though.

She stroking his hair, comforting him. "You okay?" she asked.

"I'm okay," he panted into her flesh. "Are you okay?"

"I'm sore," she admitted. "It really did hurt." He was really big and it took a couple of tries for her to get used to his width. Took even more to get his dick all the way inside of her with how small she was. She bled a lot for it was very intimate and close.

He keeps his face buried into her breasts. "It'll be better and I won't finish early."

Rey laughed softly. "It wasn't much of a problem." It really wasn't. It was her first time and it hurt a lot. She was happy it didn't last too long. She still felt raw down there, felt her nerves were pulsating. She was so sensitive there still. She still feels him inside of her even though he wasn't.

"You felt so good," he shut his eyes and sighed. She shivered from the heat of his breath. "I just wanted to stay."

* * *

Morning came. She's curled up beside him, naked and utterly perfect. She was still asleep and so he was quiet. He didn't want to wake her. Her hair is long. He didn't realize how long it was until now. Her hair covered her breasts. His eyes are on her, intent and observant.

He's staring at them - all the bruises he had left on her. There was even some bruising on her lips. Her pink lips had a red mark on it and it stands out. He covers her up with the comforter to make sure she's warm. Ben's lost in his thoughts right now, thinking of what life would have been if the outbreak never happened.

Most likely him and his girlfriend would have broken up for it was only natural due to age. He would have dated here and there and wouldn't have a serious relationship until later. He definitely doesn't see himself married at this age. He would have finished school and be working. He would have an apartment with roommates. He would have gotten married in his mid thirties and gotten a house and perhaps have kids a few years down the line.

The whole idea of it was strange to him - a life without Rey.

They've been together for so long that a life without her doesn't feel real. Even as he imagines what could have been, it all feels false. But Ben knows well that they wouldn't have been an item if life was the same. He exhaled softly. He's thankful for one thing from the outbreak. He's thankful to have her.

He presses a kiss on her cheek as he heard faint knocking. Ben groaned as he begrudgingly got up. Who was knocking at his door this hour? He put on some clothes and headed downstairs. His hair must have been everywhere but he doesn't put any effort to fix it. He doesn't care about being presentable.

"Hello?" he answered, yawning.

"Hi," a voice squealed back.

Ben waited for his eyes to adjust before speaking. Standing before him were a few of Rey's friends - Finn, Paige, Rose, and two other boys Ben didn't know about it. "How can I help you?" he asked. He tries to smile but he couldn't. Instead he was annoyed that the reason he was away from cuddling with his wife was because of her friends. It would be one thing if they visited in the afternoon but it was morning, _early_ morning.

"Sorry to have woken you up," Rose blurted. She was babbling then. Ben naturally zoned out. He forgets how annoying teenagers are. Yes, he was one but he had some common sense and decency. Rey was mature for her age and he's reminded how much of it was true. Rey was the youngest of her new friends. She was sixteen while the others were older.

"We're wondering how Rey is doing," Paige spoke over Rose.

"She's doing fine," Ben yawned again.

"She wasn't at the dance last night. Is she sick?" Finn asked, biting his lip. "She was really excited to go to the dance."

"She didn't pick up her communicator last night," Rose exclaimed. "We were really worried something happened to her."

Ben couldn't help but smirk. He was suddenly surrounded with a sense of pride that he fucked his wife good. They ended up having sex twice last night, the second time lasting longer and better. "She's completely fine she's just under the weather."

Finn frowned. "Oh no! How sick is she?"

"Really sick," Ben explained simply to the teenagers. "I don't think you'll see her for the next few days. I don't want you guys to catch it."

The teenagers nodded. "Well tell her we stopped by," Paige requested. Out of all of Rey's friends, Ben liked Paige the most. Paige was the oldest, nineteen and very calm and collected.

He gave them a smile. "Not a problem. Have a good rest of your day," he said as he closed the door. He takes his time locking the door before going back to the bedroom. His wife was still asleep. He smiled to himself. She looked so peaceful, too bad he was going to wake her. Ben slowly took off his clothes and carelessly discards them to the floor.

He slips under the covers again and wraps his arms around her bare body. He pulls her close and savors the warmth of her. He was going to keep her inside and fuck her for the next couple of days. Ben peppers kisses along her jaw and cheeks as he dived his hand lower to play with her. She was still asleep, god she was making him go crazy.

The amount of trust she has for him is amazing. She loves him so much that she's letting him do whatever he wants. It made waiting for her completely worth it. He's spent so many years fantasying how they would be when they were intimate. He never once imagined they would be this perfect and so right. He dips his head underneath the covers and finds her nipple to suck on as he plaid with her clit.

Ben wants to make her wet before shoving his cock whole. It's going to be really pleasurable for her the third time after being stretched out. He circles her clit and plays with the nub as he's sucking harder on her nipple. He's making a smacking sound. Going to leave another bruise over her bruised up red tits. He dipped a finger in her and moaned at how wet she was.

All nice and warm. His cock is twitching, aching to be back inside of the woman he loved.

He puts another finger and works his way with her. He hears her moan but it's faint. She was still asleep, slowly going in and out of dreaming and being awake. He slows his pace and goes slower. He bit his lip at the smell of her arousal in the air and its sweet.

He pulls his fingers away from her cunt to taste her on his fingers first before going down on her.

He is everything but gentle. His mouth is completely on her sex and he's sucking the bundle of nerves. He lets out a grunt as he sank his hands into her thighs, _his thighs. Every inch of her body he owned._ He pulls her closer to him and began to press his tongue inside of her.

He hears her moan again. The sound is louder this time.

Instead of slowing his pace, he goes quicker. He swirled his tongue around her clit and sucks on her again. She presses her thighs together and he moans in gratefulness to be locked together. He loves this feeling - suffocated by her legs as he's eating her out, completely fucking her with his tongue.

* * *

_It's morbid but he has her wear her wedding dress during their first time._

_She's not wearing anything else but her wedding dress. No underwear. No bra. Her breasts are nearly spilling out again. "So pretty," he murmured, marveling the sight. He can see her nipples poking through her dress and he doesn't hesitate to acknowledge them. He touches nipples and gives them a teasing pinch through the fabric._

_"I know it's silly but I kind of don't want this dress to be ruined in case we have a girl in the future. I know you want to get blood on my dress but it'll be a shame," she explained._

_Ben kisses her shoulder as he laid her down on her back once more. "Do you really want our daughter to be wearing the dress that her mother lost her virginity in?"_

_"I never thought about that." It does sound twisted to her, to save a dress with that kind of history._

_"I want to stain your dress," he reminded her, pleading._

_Rey sighed and smiled at him. "Alright," she laughed softly as she pulled him to a kiss. "You're allowed."_

_Ben smiled at her cheekily. He lifts up her skirt to finger her again, to get her wet all over. "You're going to keep this on, okay? Until we're done with your first time."_

_She nodded. She moved her head back, trembling with the thickness of his fingers._

_"Good girl," he praised as he pulled his fingers out. "It's going to hurt," he grabs his cock and slowly rubs his tip against her folds._

_She's moaning again and so was he._

_He's not even inside but the mere touch was driving him crazy. She's so wet there and he wants to be swallowed. He presses his tip in slowly. She stopped moaning. She was still and pale. She's blinking several times, shocked from the slight twinge of pain. It surprises them both, that she's already in pain. "I'm sorry," he whispered, watching her try not show any sign of pain._

_She doesn't want him to stop._

_She's trembling._

_His heart skipped a beat. "Rey?" he asked in a tone of a little boy. His skin tightened. He hates hurting her. It's scaring him._

_"Go on, please," she rasped. He can barely recognize her voice._

_Ben nodded and does so. He takes his time. Her face creases up in confusion and discomfort. Her fingers are sinking into his shoulder blades as she kissed him to dull the pain. It's not working though he could tell by the way she just stops kissing him abruptly._

_"Uh," she makes a sound. He didn't realize how big he was until she's unable to speak. She looks so shocked. She's pale and her eyes are wide. She's twitching down there. His heart skipped a beat._

_"Rey?" he asked, frowning. His voice is tiny. He sounds so afraid because he was. She looks like she was suffering from being shot and was dying. "Do you want me to stop?"_

_She forces herself to shake her head._

_"You don't look fine. I can stop" - h_ _e's shaking too. "You're so tight, fuck," he winced. "And small." It was almost painful for him too, almost. He hears the sound of their bodily fluids now becoming clear. He's not even full in yet either but he pulls out to give her some time to recover. He stops to lift up her skirt. The inside of her dress is splotched in her blood._

_His cock twitched at the sight as he felt his eyes go dark._

_"Wow," he mumbled. There's about five trickles of blood there, red and all._

_"It really hurt. Felt like I was being split in half."_

_Ben touched her hair. "I know sweetheart, I know. I'm so proud of you for being such a good girl." He kisses her softly, prepping her for his entire length to be inside her cunt. He positions himself and slowly goes back in. He grunts at how confining her walls her but he doesn't stop. He presses himself deeper and deeper._

_She's shaking so much, tears are in her eyes. He panicked. He doesn't know if should stop or keep going. She wasn't saying anything else wise. He frowned and touched her hair._

_"Ow, Ben -_

_"Do you want me to pull out?"_

_"Yes please."_

_He does so. He checks her dress again. He left more blood on her dress. He smiled at the sight._

_"Why are you smiling like that?" she laughed._

_"Because you're mine," he laughs as well, kissing her nose._

_"I've been yours for a while."_

_"But you're fully mine now," he looked down at his dick. It's covered in mostly of her arousal and think streak of her blood. "I didn't expect you to bleed this much and we aren't even finished yet. I want to be inside you deeper."_

_Her eyes widened. "I don't think I can take that."_

_"You can and you will," he assured, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I want to go all the way in you. Pubic bone to pubic bone." He kisses her some more, relaxing her until she was the one who willingly open her legs for him. "I love you."_

_"I love you too- ow," she jerked back._

_"It'll be pleasurable after a few times."_

_"Feels like a long time."_

_"It'll be soon enough." He cursed underneath his breath. He hadn't even started thrusting yet and she's already looking so worn out. He slowly slid himself inside once more. He can feel her legs twitching constantly. He wants to pull out and comfort her and kiss her all over but he knows that once they get over with their first time, everything will be alright. He ignores his panic and presses himself deeper into her warmth._

_He thrusts in her slightly and pauses, giving her some time to adjust._

_She lets out a yelp._

_"How was that?"_

_"Hurts, hurts," she panted, twisting her head. Her fingers are nearly ripping at his back._

_Ben examined her and swallowed hard. "I'm really sorry." He doesn't even want to do it anymore. "I can stop -_

_"No please don't. I can handle it. I can handle you - just oh my god. Didn't think you would be this big. I feel you everywhere."_

_He chuckled. "Just kiss me when it hurts, it'll help."_

_She smiled back and nodded, linking her arms around his neck then. "Will do," she kissed him. "I want to feel you the closest you can go."_

_Ben nodded and thrusts again._

_And again._

_"How was that?" he asked._

_"Not as bad," she kisses him harder. Her breathing was cut short._

_He continues and then pushes himself to hit her pubic bone. He felt her lower half shake from the sensation. She's overwhelmed - he thrusts again but with more pressure this time. He's suddenly reminded on how good this feels._

_"Feels like I'm a nail and you're a hammer with the way you're in me," she kissed him even more._

_Ben laughed and thrusts again._

_"You're really heavy," she panted._

_"I know." The bed was starting to shake as he lets himself go harder on her. She was so small. He really should have waited another two years._

_"This pain is so s-sharp." She kisses him frantically, trying to sedate the pain._

_"You have no idea how great this feels - how good you feel," his voice broke. He sounded so much of an animal. He kisses her some more as he quickened his pace. "I love you so much sweetheart."_

_The bed frame was hitting the wall. Ben doesn't notice. All he could see were her breasts popping out of her dress with every thrust. It was so damn hot to see those perky tits bounce. He clutched on to the bed frame and pressed himself deeper. It felt so good. He hadn't done this in such a long time. He was going faster and then he pulls out to finish on her thigh._

_Ben gathers himself before speaking. "I'm so sorry," he kisses her. He holds her up and takes off her dress. They were both naked again and he's cradling her in his arms. "I really am."_

_"For what?"_

_"Being so selfish." He hates himself so much. He hates how it takes him to come to realize how much in pain she was._

_"There's nothing to be sorry about."_

_Ben shook his head. "I shouldn't have."_

_Rey laughed. "We were going to have sex eventually. It's okay, Ben," she kissed his hair._

_"You should really go clean yourself up and pee to lessen your chances of getting a UTI."_

_She laughed uncontrollably. "Well that's a way to kill the mood."_

_"Hey! I'm being serious," he couldn't help but to laugh as well. "Infections are no fun especially during the apocalypse and we have to make antibiotics from scratch."_

_"Stop saying apocalypse. You're making it sound like they're zombies or something."_

* * *

He felt her touching his head. He pops his head out and gives her a lopsided smile. "Morning," he said, wiping his mouth.

She smiled back at him, her eyes beaming. "Morning."

"What were you doing down there?"

What a little tease. "Playing with you," he smirked. "I made you come just now."

"I know. It made me wake up." It was such a nice feeling to wake up to an orgasm.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore all over, especially there." She was sore everywhere. He was so heavy. Even her back was sore.

"Here?" he touched her clit again.

She nodded, smiling again. "Yeah," she said fondly.

"I'm sorry," he said as he grabbed her and positioned her. He slid his dick inside then. She flinches slightly but only slightly. "Does it hurt as much now?"

"Not as much."

"Good." He pulls her to top him. He whimpers naturally. Her sweet pussy was swallowing him all up.

"Fuck," she cursed. "You feel so much bigger this way."

He laughed. "I'm not used to you cursing."

"What do I do?"

"I'll show you," he bucked his hips.

Rey winced in pain.

He guides her and like a good girl, she does what she's told.

"Your friends stopped by earlier," he tells her. He's pulling her hair, cursing as she's bouncing on his dick. Up and down. God, if only he could finish inside without getting her knocked up. He wants her to feel his hot come. Wants to make her shiver all over.

"They did?" she raised her eyebrow.

He nodded. "They were worried. They thought something happened to you because you weren't at the dance last night."

"What did you tell him?" she blushed.

She slowed her pace. He grabbed her hips to keep going. "I told you were sick and that you won't be able to get out of bed for the next few days," he growled.

"A few days?" she laughed. She kissed him as she slid up and down his length. He was so thick and she can feel his cock pulsate.

"Yes," he smirked. "I want you to get used to this so we can really enjoy it."

"Am I allowed to leave the house for the next few days?"

He shook his head. "No. We have to make the lie believable. I'm sure the town will be fine without their scavenger for a while. Don't worry I'll be in charge of our meals."

"Alright," she laughed again.

"I'm pretty sure you can keep yourself entertain while I'm gone for work. There are a lot of books you haven't read."

"I haven't wrote in my journal in forever either." Maybe she'll actually take the time to make a garden too so they can have herbs and vegetables. This place was going to be their forever place.

He pulls her up effortlessly. Instinctively she laid down and lets him come on her breasts. He presses a kiss on her forehead. "I feel like we haven't had any alone time together since we settled here. I'm happy to have it again, even if it's only for a few days."

Rey touched his spend on her breasts. It's all warm and sticky. She liked the feeling of it, felt like a kiss from Ben. He came a lot, but not as much as their first time. "Really?"

"Think about it," he said gently. He bent down to kiss her face all over. He wants to kiss her for a bit before making herself up.

She blinked and thought about it. "Wow," her eyes flickered. "I didn't realize that until now." It explained so much about last night. How could she be so blind? She didn't realize how much she wasn't spending time with her husband. She was always working as scavenger and nurse or out with her friends. He's been working as a carpenter and food runner but she wasn't aware that on her free time, she's been leaving him alone in their home.

Ben nodded, unable to stop himself from frowning. "I'm happy you're able to enjoy life now but I miss you. Sometimes I feel like there's no place for me."

"Why didn't you tell me that sooner?"

"I liked seeing you happy."

"There's always a place for you."

He smiled at her. "I know that now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any requests you want to see in this fic? regarding their past, the town, etc


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